Loss is an integral part of change. If we can anticipate it, we might cope better, recover faster, and lead change with greater empathy.
Change always comes with loss
Change by its very nature involves moving from one state of affairs to another, and in doing so, leaving something behind. Autumn is crisp and beautiful, but we lose our long summer evenings. A new software roll out can be exciting, but we might be saying goodbye to the comfort of an old familiar system.
You might assume, given the sheer amount of change we all experience, that we become increasingly accepting of this loss and even skilled at managing it. But that’s not what I notice, neither in life nor in major change programmes.
However much we embrace a new direction, we often find the element of loss incredibly challenging. This is especially true when the change is undesirable, unforeseen, or when multiple changes pile on top of each other and feel overwhelming.
Why loss makes change hard
Loss is rarely a single, neat emotion. It is often entwined with anger, disappointment, fear, resentment; and sometimes guilt or relief. Alongside the tangible loss itself sits the uncertainty. There are the blank fields of “how” and “when”, which no decent change plan would tolerate.
This emotional complexity makes it harder for individuals and organisations to move forward smoothly.
What bereavement teaches us about loss
Bereavement is perhaps the ultimate and most profound form of loss. Despite its inevitability, many cultures are not adept at navigating it. A friend once confided that it took over 10 years before she could even look at her beloved grandmother’s jewellery after her death.
The depth of grief can catch us unprepared, as though we carry, like teenagers, a belief in our own immortality. Yet bereavement reminds us that preparation and reflection can help us navigate loss “well”, and the same is true for organisational change.
The “ball in the box” analogy
One analogy that resonates strongly is the ‘ball in the box’, originally shared by Lauren Herschel in the context of bereavement:
- Imagine your loss as a ball inside a box, which also contains a “pain” trigger.
- At first, the ball is so big that it constantly hits the trigger. The pain feels relentless.
- Over time, the ball may shrink. It hits the trigger less often, but sometimes it swells again without warning, and the pain feels as sharp as ever.
- For some people, the ball never fully disappears. But it can strike the trigger less often, giving longer stretches of recovery.
I find it a vivid reminder that reactions to loss are unpredictable, and not always linear.
Pointers for change leaders
Blending the “ball in the box” idea with William Bridges’ work on transition, I’d offer these practical suggestions for people leading change:
- Get ready for loss. Expect that people will feel loss as part of change. You don’t need to shine a spotlight on it – “look at this, it might hurt!” – but ignoring it altogether, as enthusiastic sponsors have sometimes been known to do, is equally unhelpful.
- Honour the past. Consider what would count as an “enduring connection” to what has been lost. Bridges frames this as ‘honouring the past’ and for organisations it might mean recognising achievements under a previous leader, or pausing to celebrate what was good about an old way of working before moving forward with the new.
- Expect unpredictability. We’d like to think adjustment to major change will follow a neat Kubler-Ross curve. Yet in practice it can look far more like the ‘ball in the box’. Careful listening to impacted communities will help you design support that is responsive and empathetic.
Respecting the losses as well as the gains
Throughout our careers we will experience many gains, and many losses too. Considering them deliberately can help us learn. It’s helpful to ask what assumptions we held; how they shaped our reactions; and how we might deal with change differently in future.
Business change is always about people. And people are always balancing multiple change journeys at once, many of them unseen. If we can master how to acknowledge and respect losses of all shapes and sizes, I think we’ll be ready to lead change with greater wisdom and humanity.
